The most common question I hear when people learn what I do is, “Can anyone learn to sing?” And I get a little flustered as I smile and say, if you have vocal cords, you can already sing.
Because, that isn’t what they are really asking. They really want to know, “Can I learn to make sounds that meet my own expectations? Will other people like the sound of my voice? Can I learn to sound like [insert favorite singer’s name]?”
I have very different answers for those questions, and they generally can’t be answered quickly, nor is there one right answer for every individual.
Your voice is so personal. You use it to express the core of you. The beliefs you hold about your voice are onion skins formed as you grew up, by your own opinions and the opinions of those around you. Sometimes, you might not want me helping you peel away those skins at a dinner party. Hence my flustered-ness!
Can your singing voice ever meet your expectations? Depends on your expectations. I would start there, with re-evaluating what you expect from your own voice. Can you sound like your favorite singer? When you consider that singer has most likely been working on their skills and singing musculature for many years, it certainly can’t happen overnight. Additionally, your favorite singer doesn’t sound like their favorite singer. They had to go through the same process of evaluating their expectations and learning to appreciate their own unique voice and most likely still struggle with the same questions. The easy answer is, No. You will never sound like your favorite singer. You will sound like you.
Will other people like the sound of your voice? Is there ANY singer in world who is universally loved by all? As TS so wisely said, “Haters gonna hate.” You must let go of other people’s opinions. How much do you miss out on when you let other people’s opinions dictate whether or not you do what you love? Don’t miss out on another moment because of what someone else might think or say!
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
~ Mary Oliver
What better way to work on singing skills than with a group of people who feel the same way as you? This is safe space where you can set your voice free. There is almost nothing more magical than the feeling of raising your voice in harmony with other humans.
This choir is for adults who love to sing but who believe they can’t. It’s for those adults who were told as children that they couldn’t or shouldn’t sing. It’s also for adults who love to have a great time meeting new people and laughing. And, it includes a glass of wine!
We will work on some of the most important skills of singing: breathing, listening, and expression. Music will range from familiar folk melodies to rounds and will progress into learning how to hold your own part in harmony.
$15 per hour, group lesson.
Thursday evenings from 7-8 PM
Beginning January 7 and ending in a celebration on or around March 31.
Send me an email or ask a question in the comment section. I would love to hear from you!
I was just thinking about singing as a skill that you develop rather than a natural talent that some people just don’t get blessed with, so it’s fun to see your post addressing this very thing. I love to sing but I definitely don’t put the time and effort into it that professionals do to hone their craft. I often make some sort of comment about knowing that I have a good voice but also knowing I’ll never be performing past karaoke. Like most things, that’s an insight more into doing what I value with my time rather than a statement about my ability (in this moment it made me think of when I learned to stop saying I can’t afford something rather than I choose to prioritize something else right now). Thank you for the great reminder. I’m gonna go sing now. 🙂
I love your comment!! Yes, I totally see the parallel in how we talk about ourselves and our priorities. Keep singing!
I really appreciate how you emphasize our voices being personal and unique. My mother was an opera singer so I naturally started training in classical though my heart was in jazz. Growing up I wasn’t sure where the core of my voice was in terms of personality. Training in different styles with coaches is exactly what allowed me to explore my self-expression through the possibilities of my own voice and the freedom to find a sound that resonates with me. I can’t stress enough how important vocal coaches have been in my life!
I love to hear that, Kei! Vocal coaches and voice teachers have been very important in my life, as well. It is due to some of them that I have overcome performance anxiety. And, my heart is in jazz, too. 🙂
I can resonate with this post. I have been in a choir in my school days and I was also a very shy timid girl who hated her own voice!
I was encouraged by my parents and teachers to have a go at singing in a choir and to learn to play an instrument. I choose the recorder.
Being in that choir helped me overcome some of my fear my own voice as I was chosen to be a lead in a school choir concert and love it.
It helped me over my fear of being seen as well and this increased my confidence levels no end. Totally recommend singing especially in a group.
I love to hear that about your choir experience, Jane! Something I say to my choir is that engaging in choir, gaining experience through singing together, creates empowerment. Sounds like that was your experience, as well. 🙂
What a great idea! I’m definitely one of those people. I hate my singing voice, but I do love to sing. I only sing when I’m alone!!
I was in chorus when I was little and I tried out for a trio part with two friends. The teacher made it a duet and gave it to my two friends, but left me out of it. Ouch. It was a Christmas play.
Ouch, indeed! I am sorry that happened to you. I would like to see a growing trend toward supporting children in trying new things, not excluding them. Many children who will go on to develop beautiful voices and a solid ear start out without the ability to hold a pitch. Your comment reminds me of the multiple scientists, mathematicians, and others who were thought to have no ability in the fields they would someday master.
I would bet that you have a lovely voice.
That sounds like a lot of fun! I hate when people are told that they can’t do x, y or z. Or worse, when they tell themselves that they can’t.
You’re right- everyone can sing. I sing in the shower, so I can sing. Whatever people want to do, they should just do it. Find a way to start, and just do it.
Gosh, yes, Al. How many things do we tell ourselves we can’t do over the course of our lives? What are we missing out on? Singing is your birthright.
Your comment inspires me to think of my limiting beliefs. Thank you!
I love that you break down what their questions really mean to them. That they’er not really asking what they’re asking, and that it depends on various things. So true!
And REALLY love that you offer a safe environment for people to get together and sing! It sounds so welcoming! It sounds like you understand how us “non-singers” feel and and that you know how to really help us!
Thank you, Wendy! We are now 6 weeks into choir and it has been a blast! Would you believe that every single one of these “reluctant” singers has a lovely voice? It is true! Most of them have never sung where others could hear them. It’s a beautiful thing!